There are seventeen chapters dealing with a crisis. Loss of child. Multiple deaths. Divorce. Alcoholism and drug addiction. Loss of home, health and career. For the most part there was a chapter for every bomb that went off in my life.
The chapter on losing a child, I learned a lot.
A bit (okay, a lot) of plagiarism follows. For starters...
- Statistics say before the end of the year one child you know will die.
- You don't eat an elephant all at once. You eat it bite by bite. I don't want to eat an elephant. I know, but there's one on your plate.
- Don't complicate grief. It's not abnormal. There isn't a right way to grieve. Becoming aware of a feeling neutralizes that emotion......Some losses don't have an ending. We still miss the person, but we go on with life.
- There's more. Stop working for the prize. Stop dating to get married. Stop dressing to control what people think. It's all about control. Control doesn't keep us safe, even though we think it does.....So each thing for itself. Be there while you're doing it. Stop being someplace else. Let life be what it is.
- Stop looking for Big.
I don't think most of us look for Big after the loss of a child. Everything becomes immaterial.
Case in point: Going from lots of income to no income is easy because I've learned what is real and what is not. I don't care if I never upgrade my Photoshop 3 to Photoshop 6 but I care if Nicole's art is never framed.