My MS is progressing but at least I am not saying "My cancer has returned". Yes, I'm a melanoma survivor and it made Copaxone injections impossible in the lower half of my arm because I have no fat in that area. It is flat like Kansas only covered with skin.
There are times I don't mind MS moving along because so much is going on at home. Alex is job-hunting in a dismal climate, the daschie seems to be developing some kind of problem but I don't know what - there is no money for vet bills. And there's this:
Nicole's 38th birthday is coming up - November 7th except she is still 34. A hard day to celebrate. The Worldwide Candlelight Memorial is in December. So are all the holidays, including my birthday and she won't be there for it. It is a struggle, this... conversion of happy memories of Nicole to something more compartmentalized. I can't cry all day, you know. When I am strong I open the happy box of memories, otherwise they need a safe place to hide. For now. I need to focus on the home front and get through the "oh so happy season..."
MS: my left leg tends to vanish (usually when I need it which is all the time) and the power to shock and awe has returned. (electrocution) I need a forearm crutch I think. Saying "I think" probably means yes. I want a very sleek white one. Does one exist or are they all clunky and grey? I probably couldn't afford the sleek ones anyway. Back to MS...
Electric shocks surge through my abdomen and travel down my leg. Electrocutions are torture whether done biologically or mechanically. A daily event, now. Not the same as a thunderbolt... my first one was in San Antonio and it was directly from hell.
Electric shocks and thunderbolts are different. I can't explain but if you've had both, you'll know. I would rather deal major MS electrocutions than endure a second thunderbolt even though it last a split second. I was asleep when it happened and it took me a long time to feel normal. I did wonder if I was struck by dry lightening!
My Neuro at that time believed me. It's important when a Neuro believes you.
My kidneys are being contentious - an old symptom returns to visit for a few hours at a time...approximately 28 years ago I was diagnosed with diabetics insipidus but before I could get pick up my vasopressin, it went away very mysteriously. I had it for three long months...now it seems to visit for a few hours at a time. Intense thirst followed by an inability to retain the water drank while showing signs of dehydration....for several hours.
My neurologist will be intrigued.... wah, wah, can I make a case for wanting a water retaining medication? One that increases blood pressure too? That doesn't cause renal damage?
A word to the wise, if you have MS never take the Romberg test in the shower. I had a minor fender bender - I was washing my hair, closed my eyes and boom, bam, I sort of fell out of the shower without my knowledge... the corner of the shower prevented me from injuring myself while the door swung wide open. My first EPIC FAIL of the Romberg test.
Remember I broke my toe last Thanksgiving twice? It seems to have injured my entire leg- it throbs constantly. My little piggy toe should be singing wee wee wee all the way home... it has not arrived home yet. Time to get it checked out. Again.
I could go on and on...but I'm tired too. =p